Archive for the ‘Fiction’ Category

The morning came.The terrible noise of weapons stopped.The fighters needed a rest from their all night fighting.They were fighting a secret enemy.An enemy in the form of a child from Jabal Mohsen who is responsible for the Iranian Nuclear Threat or a mother from Tabbeneh who is plotting to destroy the Assad regime in a dirty plot with the Israelis.

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The fighters are humans too,they need rest,they need sleep for at night they are busy doing Godly chores they are destined to.

Isn’t that what they were raised to believe?Isn’t that what the undereducated Sheikh told them in the Mosques?

The fighter from Tabbeneh knows well his mission that is to extract Refaat Eid* from the area,for Eid is the bastard son of Nasrallah* and his target is to exterminate Sunna and transform Tripoli into an Alawite stronghold opening the path  for Shia expansion

The fighter from Jabal Mohsen is defending his pace from the beard sporting Israeli terrorists.He knows well that the word “Takbir”* is a Hebrew word meaning destroy the Alawites.

The President woke up early,took his daily shower and wore the dove grey suit and navy blue tie his wife chose for him.He’s got meetings to attend,a lunch with a foreign diplomat and the elections to get through with.The elections are driving him crazy and his erection too.He hasn’t got one in a while even with help of the blue pill,but who needs an erection when you’ve got power.Power will give any woman multiple orgasm.

His wife stood on her toes to kiss his chin while he gives her his lovely winner smile.

What about Tripoli she asks???

Tripoli???What about Tripoli???Isn’t that in Libya????

He brushes the idea away and heads to his office.

Prime Minister Mikati wakes up obsessed with the idea of getting  hair implant and growing a beard because that’s so “a la mode” in Tripoli nowadays will get him more voters for the next election.

He phones his underdog Saad Al Masri proposing to send more money,more weapons for the sake of his “Middle-ness”.You know,no one should win  or have the upper-hand in the fights in the fights or his “Middle-ness” will be destroyed and he will lose more voters.

Mp Abou L Abed Kabbara didn’t have a second of sleep that night.His bastard sons are leaving him,they are refusing to obey him anymore.It’s crazy he’ll lose his powers and wont be able to help all the imprisoned Sunna.

He calls Brigardier Hammoud *and shouts to him:DO SOMETHINGGGGG.

His voice wakes Mostapha Allouch* from his ex communism sleep and reminds him to wash his Whiskey breath  for he’s got a meeting today with a bunch of Sheikhs that will lead him to the righteous path.

The stilness of the morning after disturbs Mp Ahdab sleep.He yawns a Tom Ford breath and feels the urge to use the bathroom.He gets out of bed,he was sleeping with Ahmad Al Assir in the chat room.He washes his perfect botoxed face  and smiles gold to the mirror.He finishes shitting flowers,heads to the balcony to salute the army of women fantasizing about him.

Refaat Eid* is having a greasy breakfast ,he already ate three roasted Tabbeneh fighters.Those filthy bearded terrorists .Today he’ll focus his hunt on younger flesh for it’s more lean.He hits the table with his fist and shouts to his men to go kill some terrorists

One of his men replies that it’s still morning and the fighters are still sleeping.Oh Eid replies then I’m going back to sleep too.Tonight we have some filthy terrorists to kill.

Most of the peaceful Tripolitain citizen didn’t sleep at night disturbed by the weapons noise.They spent their night pleading and praying to God to save the city.Quoting prayers from Quran on their facebook account,cursing their opponents.

They know that one day their God will listen,but till that day comes God is busy preparing for the Champions League,the World Cup and how Angelina Jolie’s boobs removal are a loss to humanity.

He shakes his head,munches on his caramel Pop Corn that he washes with a gulp of Ginger Ale.

The Civil Society knows well how to stop the fightings.They organize a demonstration in front of a fancy restaurant.There’s a lovely lady running for election participating ,wearing her Chanel costume and her Jaques Dessange bleached hair.She’s gonna push all the others to be in front of the TV camera.After all her Chanel Costume cost her a small fortune and it’s the first time she wears it.No one would dare to stop her from being the highlight of the demonstration.Not even that white haired short power monger.Image

Whatshe didn’t expect is that other members of the civil society objected Chanel cloth and voted for Dior and maybe the newly renewed Saint Laurent so they demonstrated at the same time elsewhere

The Chanel Lady went apeshit in front of the camera and while she was watching herslef on the night news bulletin she cried in shame noticing that in her rush she wore the wrong color of lipstick.

While everyone was busty preparing their chores for the next round of fightsat night,they didn’t notice the disappearance of Alice.

No one bothered looking for heror shouting her name.

Alice died alone on a dark alley by a stray bullet,on her way to get her sick mother some medicines.

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